December 31, 2010

New Year's Resolutions

I don't ever do this, but it's 10:55, and I'm going to make some new year's resolutions.  Ready? Okay!

1.  Relax a little bit about punctuation. Not everybody had the benefits of the schooling I had, and some people (so I've been told) just don't rightly care.  A comma here, a semicolon there:  how important is it, really, in the grand scheme of things?

2. Pray for the souls of people who don't care about punctuation.

3.  Light a candle once a day.  I have friends who are sick and friends' family members who are sick and I know people in jail and people who are gravely troubled; and there's just nothing to be done except the things they are doing themselves for their own health.  And I love them all and think of them often, and I want to focus that into a candle burning for a few moments.  Any once-a-day thing not involving art makes me nervous, but I went over the top with this one when I learned a friend's husband had just had surgery in Texas, and she was at home, working, in Hawaii so that their insurance coverage would continue. So: a candle burning and the light pulsating toward those I know and those I love and the world.

4.  Get my eyes done. You may have heard that I had surgery for breast cancer this year, and that my dad died, and that I had some icky dental stuff done. A new year is beginning, and I want it to be all about me, me, me; beginning with getting the blobs at the inner corners of my eyelids removed. They're a genetic thing and I've been rising above them and coating them with various colored eye shadows, which sort-of works but not really.  They look awful, and I'm having them done, and the day after they're done the blobs will begin forming again.  Sucks, huh?  On the other hand, I'm going to look great for a little while; and given the year I've had I'll take it.

5.  Vacuum a bit more regularly but not often enough that it becomes onerous a habit. Once a month, say.

6.  Walk the dogs farther than I did in 2010.  Now, here's a complicated resolution, because a month or so ago I stopped walking both dogs at once. When I do, there are too many of them to give attention to both and daydream at the same time.  I'm averse to exercise, which is why I have two dogs, a big one and a little one, so I can alternate and take them out based on how much foolishness I think I want.  The big one's taken up eating all of the presents other dogs leave everywhere, even though there's a city ordinance and also FREE BAGS in four locations about twenty steps from each other. Okay, I guess that means I'm not the lazy one in this area.  So walking the dogs a little more should be a breeze. And why this resolution?  Because of the first rule of pets:  a tired dog is a good dog.

7.  Buy two gallons of milk at a time.  We run out every time we turn around.  I traditionally buy only one gallon, and now that I have to prevent lymphedema from taking over my life, I'm not supposed to put stress on my left arm.  Stress:  lifting things, getting a mosquito bite, getting a scratch, and all sorts of other things that you've never had to think about, by which I mean me.  And yet the annoyance of running out of milk is worth the risk, don't you think?

8.  Eat ice cream.  Perhaps not as much as I did this year, but continue eating ice cream.  At the same time, continue to quit smoking.  It's been over three years; but vigilance is the price of success.

9.  Cut back a little on sugar, and cut forward a little on green groceries.  My medical oncologist says to eat foods as close to the ground as possible, beginning with any color tea and also coffee; continuing through fruits and vegetables; and not much meat.  That last one isn't too difficult, unless McDonald's is on the way home.  But when we fix meals at home, I want a few bites of pork chop or a chicken leg or two; and I'm done.

10.  Look up the rules on writing resolutions. I've not done it before, so I don't know if any exist.  Like, is there a minimum number of resolutions you have to write to qualify? And if you write that many is there a blog logo you can add like the one for NaNoWriMo and for Mailart 365?  And what is it called? "A Resolutions Expert"? That doesn't suggest that you are any good at keeping resolutions, just that you've made them and know the rules.  And I hardly ever hear about people keeping resolutions anyhow.  Also, if you think of additional ones in, say, June, can you add them to the list or do you have to wait until the next year? If the latter is true, does anybody know where to put them in order to locate them in January?

11.  Take my drugs, all of them, precisely as prescribed, every single day. Okay, that's the first one I'm going to break.  Actually, I get to start breaking it tomorrow because I ordered my antidepressant -- the 90 day supply -- more than two weeks ago to be sure the company shipped them to me in time. Unfortunately, they left a message on Tuesday saying they'd called my doctor's office about a possible drug interaction and would be shipping those to me as soon as he responded. The tiny problem is that the office is closed from December 23 through January 3; so it looks to me as though we're going to have a week of coming off an antidepressant cold turkey.  Boy howdy; that's a good way to start the new year.

Eleven is the wrong number of resolutions, and I'm certain there are more to list; but I'm bored and going to wander off to something else, like preparing to watch the ball drop in New York City.  And the happiest and healthiest of new years to one and all.

Oh, here's another one:

12.  Watch more stupid television shows.  This year I saw Bridezillas, Toddlers and Tiaras, Say Yes to the Dress, and (today) a marathon of 1000 Ways to Die, which I always thought was a glum program but turns out to be a light-hearted look at folks who died in bizarre, stupid, and/or accidental ways.  The stupid show is amusing, in that they they close out each tiny segment with a pun based on the method of death.

13.  Outgrow respecting television shows on the basis of punning ability.

14.  Go to the afternoon movies more often.  There is immense pleasure in sitting alone in an empty movie theatre with popcorn.

2 comments:

Karoda said...

sometimes i don't capitalize when i should. And I start a sentence with and. please pray for me.

signed,
karen

Mary said...

Starting a sentence with "and" is okay now. But that not capitalizing thing . . I'd be appalled if I weren't trying so hard not to be appalled this year.